My New Hack For Overcoming Self-Doubt & Fear

Since I’ve started my journey to find my voice and share things that may help people, I’ve struggled with emotions like self-doubt, fear and anxiety.

Courtesy Serge Melki

Will anyone read this?  What if someone reads this?  What if they don’t like what I have to say?  Am I wasting my time?  Am I good enough?

I came across a Podcast that shifted my mindset.  This short paragraph changed my world.  That day, I did a Periscope broadcast (a live streaming video broadcast) and felt relaxed, more confident than I’ve ever felt while speaking in front of a camera.

It was centered around an old parable that goes like this:

An old grandfather told his grandson: “My son, there is a battle between two wolves inside us all. One is evil. It is anger, jealousy, greed, and resentment.

The other is good. It is joy, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy, and bravery.”

The boy thought about it, and asked, “Grandfather, which wolf wins?”

The old man quietly replied, “The one you feed.”

I realized I’ve been feeding the evil wolf.

I needed to come up with a strategy to feed the good wolf.  In episode 79 of the Podcast, Akshay Nanavati talks about dealing with fear.  Here’s how I incorporated his tips to overcome my fear of speaking in front of a camera:

 1.  Recognize your evil wolf.

Notice how your body feels physiologically.  For me, I can feel my heart pounding rapidly, shallow breathing (sometimes I forget to breathe!),  or I feel hot and flushed.

Tell yourself, “that’s the bad wolf.  How can I feed the Good Wolf instead?”

2.  Feed the Good Wolf.

Flood your brain with positive thoughts.

“You have something important to say.  Someone will find this useful.  This is great practice!  You are so brave.  This is will get easier.  Let’s just have fun.”

3.  Stay in charge of the wolf you feed.

Fear is meant to protect us.  It’s a primitive instinct designed to keep us from danger.

When we were cavemen/women, fear of shame was a survival instinct.  If we were cast out of tribe, we starved to death.  But today, that fear can prevent us from showing our authentic selves and living in our truth.  It can keep us from living a fulfilling, purpose driven life.

Today, if we’re cast out of our tribes, there’s another tribe that will accept us.

Pay attention to moments of resistance.  “Is this the bad wolf,” I ask myself?  “I choose to feed the good wolf.”

Remember when you were a kid and afraid of the monsters in the dark?  The ones hiding under the bed and in the closet?

Your mom and dad reassured you that there were no monsters under the bed.

When you start to feel anxious, tell yourself there are no monsters under the bed.  There’s nothing to be afraid of.

4.  Surround yourself with people who feed your good wolf.

There may be some people in your life that have a vested interest in preventing you from being happy and successful.  They may not know it, but they may subconsciously fear that if your life improves, you’ll leave them behind and they’ll have no one to feed their bad wolf with.

Avoid conversations centered around gossip, jealousy and judgement.  Instead, seek out positive people and positive conversations that are uplifting.

You can’t always control your circumstances, but you can control how you react to them.

Which wolf will you feed today?

The world needs your gifts.  Share them now.

 

Ann Boots

Ann Boots co-founded a leading digital marketing company in Hawaii in 2009, working in website and software development, SEO, PPC and social marketing strategy. She has over 15 years of sales, marketing, advertising and sales management experience. She worked at Cox Media Group running a sales team selling radio advertising to business in Hawaii. She created successful campaigns and promotions for Weight Watchers, Times Supermarkets, MercedesBenz, Central Pacific Bank and many others and later started and lead their Digital Marketing Department.